again, i was tempted to make a new blog and start anew as a way of starting another year, but nope, i don’t need a new one just yet only to abandon it halfway through. this time, here’s the rule that i need to follow: do not make/add another one if i am not letting go of my old one/s. just so you know, i already have enough of blogs to run, actually more than i should have, but i don't know why i can't be contented at times.

i’ve always wanted to be consistent with posting stuff and i am actually motivated to do so since another year is starting once again, but i don’t want to make any promises anymore, then break them the soonest, so perhaps it’s way better to just go with the flow.

i’ve had a lot of broken promises (to myself) in the past, and thinking about those just frustrates me – really frustrates me. i was never consistent, as you can see, but nope, i don’t want to dwell on them any longer. i just need to stop putting unnecessary pressure on myself ‘cos i have enough of them already.

wala compera, but i still bought the notebook (oops, pun intended). uughh, i just couldn’t resist. i don’t know how many notebooks i do have now. most of them are being left unwritten because i feel like they’re too precious to be used. i need to stop buying them, okay? lol. also, i wanted the white bible so bad, but then it’s a little expensive and mine is still completely in a good condition. so okay, no.

anyway, there's nothing special from today. it's actually just one of my typical wednesdays, but i got up a little early than i usually do. and thank goodness, i had the chance to have a slow morning. i must admit, my mornings have been in a rush lately. i always wake up early, but i get up late. you get what i mean, yes? so yeah.

i was able to start my day by planning it. i had the time to ponder and i’ve been just so pumped up to get my shiz together (well, i’ve been feeling like this for a while now which is actually a good thing). i’ve been able to read a few pages of the book that i have bought weeks ago, 13 things mentally strong people don’t do by amy morin. it’s been days since i last picked this up, tbh.

i went to work feeling good like i had enough confidence to conquer the day. i also had a good laugh during lunch. i actually laughed so hard that i can barely breathe because my officemate’s stories were just so damn funny (i’m still smiling like crazy while typing this).

and here i am again, writing a lengthy blog post just out of impulse. well, what’s new? lol. i didn’t even notice it’s almost 1am already. yep, my calendar is still in november. hehe. alright, i gotta catch some z’s now =)

• i’m having some mild back pain right now, probably due to sitting down in front of my laptop for long hours. ooops, my bad.
• i’m trying to learn something new and it’s actually sumth that i have put off for years now, but better late than never i guess (uhm, yep, here comes this lame excuse ugh). idk how long this would take before i can do this by myself. maaan, it’s frickin’ haaaard!
• i have not done most of the things that i’ve planned to do this weekend, but i ended up doing some other things which i think still made this a bit productive despite the very long afternoon nap i had yesterday. lol.
• things (and people) are confusing these days, and i’m getting worse in making decisions. your indecisive girl is still indecisive, but nope, i am not proud of it. i gotta work on this.

• traveled to iloilo last weekend to visit some friends and former schoolmates who took the cpale this month (I wasn’t in the photo, though ‘cos I took them lol). thanks to my alma mater and my former accounting instructors for a free ride! =)

• i am never a kpop fan but guess what, i attended a k-fest event last weekend, too. i was with my high school friend (who is kinda my human diary haha) and our former schoolmate who is also a kpop fan. it was the first time i’ve talked to that guy even though he was always in our classroom back in the days (perhaps, I was really never that friendly? lol), and the event was fun, except that i couldn’t really relate. i just watched people as they fangirl-ed/fanboy-ed.

• we got a new pup at home. yaaay! it was actually given by our neighbor and it was soooooo adorable!

• my brother turned seventeen, and yaaay more foods on the table!

it's almost been a year since i took the big exam, which most of the accountancy students are terrified about. i would be lying if i'd say it wasn't terrifying because it was. IT. FRICKIN’. WAS. those were the most emotional days of my life. i was anxious. i've been crying because i didn't know what to do. i've spent long hours in the shower -- crying. and was still crying even over dinner in front of my friends. it actually felt like giving up was the easiest way out, but good thing that i have held on to his grace. i've accepted that i cannot do it by myself, that i cannot do it without him; and man, that really gave me the light when i felt like i was already walking in an entire darkness. God gave me hope. i cannot remember a day that He left my side and that should be enough for me to remember that He will never leave me. ever. especially on that point in my life.

i dared to fight the battle with Him. i gave my best, and He did the rest for me.

and so here i am now...

i was crying as i finished this night's devotional. it felt like my heart is being squeezed in a VERY GOOD way. i'm still astonished of how great and amazing God is. i swear, He really works wonders!

and since it's CPALE season again (exam actually starts this coming saturday, 6th of october), i've thought about sharing a few of my favorite verses. these certainly gave me the hope and the strength to go on and to fight when it was already so tempting to just give up. so just in case, anyone out there also needs them, here they are:

• 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares.
• Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am you God; I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
• Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.
• Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.
• Isaiah 35:4 Tell everyone who is discouraged. Be strong and don't be afraid. God is coming to your rescue.
• Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

also, here are my most played songs (also the songs that i was playing in the shower while crying my heart out):

• i surrender - hillsong worship
• broken vessels - hillsong worship
• God will make a way - don moen

GOD BLESS TO EVERYONE WHO WILL BE TAKING THE CPALE! claim it. pray for it. achieve it.

whaaaaaat??? september is already ending??? wow! and since we’re almost about to welcome another month now, here i am with another ~currently~ entry. i’ve been trying to do this monthly but i skipped this last month. i was actually still planning to post a similar entry previously but i have been putting it off for some reason, only to realize that another month is again ending. gahd. i swear this is the fastest month of this year, so far. idk if it’s just me.


i honestly haven’t been reading a book lately. the things that i have been reading for the past weeks are just random articles around the web. also, i was quite binged reading blogs of some good ol’ tumblr friends who have decided to step up their blogging games and are now on a new blogging platform. i have been in the mood to hop from one blog to another, trying to pick some inspiration up here and there, because, quite honestly, i felt like quitting already – leaving tumblr for good, but guess, that’s another story to tell. :) anyway, i’m planning to read the alchemist soon. it’s been in my to-read list since forever, but i’ve never given it some time yet.


oh well… still, i haven’t been writing except a few stuff for this blog every now and then idk. i just couldn’t find enough drive to write, but you know, i’ve always wanted to be called a “writer,” but then, the term doesn’t fit me well. i am just a frustrated one, and most of the time, i can write only for this blog – for the sake of keeping memories through words, that someday i may read through what i’ve written, look back to how things used to be, and realize how much i’ve grown.


right now, i am not listening to anything in particular. just some white noise inside my room. also, i’d like to add that i have been listening to a lot of opm songs these days, especially in the office, while i am dealing with some financial figures.


there’s a lot that’s going on in my head lately, particularly some random adulting stuff. i have been thinking about how i can manage my finances really well with all these bills at home that i’ve promised to shoulder (which i am already actually doing). and the most recent thoughts that have been occupying my mind are about having a room makeover, and on how i could get rid of all the clutter inside our home. i have been lowkey trying to indulge myself into a minimalism lifestyle since last year, and most of the days, i just want fewer things around especially at home, but my family is quite a hoarder. and so, i have been trying to think of better ways to have a clearer home without really getting rid of the things that my fam don’t wanna get rid of just yet. you know what i mean? lol. like rearranging and stuff like that. anyway, yeah, those are just a few of the things that i’ve been thinking about.


i’m hoping that i could maintain this light feeling that i do have right now for the rest of the week at least. also, i am hoping for more motivation at work. i feel like i don’t have enough of it anymore. i haven’t been giving my best on whatever i have to handle recently. i am just not satisfied with my performance these days, and i sometimes get pissed off easily, because ugh. people. i just hope they would realize that whenever i have my earphones on, it means “i don’t wanna talk.” lol.


i pretty much need some sleep. i have been staying up late. i don’t know why. i used to sleep early before (by before, I mean only until I took the board lol), but dang, my body clock has been effed up, especially when i was on this stage where i wasn’t anymore studying but not yet working either, and until now that i am already employed, i find it hard to bring it back to how it used to.


alright, that’s pretty much it! whoops, again, i wasn’t expecting that this post would turn out this long. lol. hi!

one of my best friends went home last saturday, 8th of september, so we decided to meet up and watch a movie. yep, we watched the hows of us. i was waiting for them to kiss on that scene that’s why i took a snap but nothing happened. hahaha.

idk but i didn’t find the movie as nakakaiyak as what i expected it to be (based on the feedbacks that I’ve been seeing around the web), prolly because i couldn’t relate that much yet, or idk. the concepts and life lessons that were being portrayed are just more of warnings for me, like “ganito ang posibleng mangyari kapag ganito, kapag ganyan, etc.” don’t hate me, though, it’s just on me, and don’t get me wrong, i did tear up on that part where george read primo’s letter.as always, in every movie that i watch, i like to pick up my favorite line/s and here it is from thou, and it’s from my favorite scene too: “just ride the tide until the sun rises again because it always does.” And also this: “isang beses sa napakaraming beses na pwede akong sumuko pero hindi ko ginawa. pero isang beses lang pala ang kailangan mo para umalis at hindi na bumalik.”

it feels so good to not just get stuck at home on a saturday every once in a while. it’s the high time for me to stop scrolling through my phone and just put it down. i actually very rarely have a mobile data subscription ever since ‘cos i feel like i already have enough (sometimes too much) of the internet at home and i just want to get disconnected every time i am going somewhere and out of the house. it helps my mind to get cleared up somehow. the only time i did have some data subscription was when i was living a little away from home (when I was still in review school) ‘cos the place where i was staying then had no wifi. it makes a difference din kasi when you don’t have an easy access to the internet when you’re in review school, and i had to get connected with my family back home, so i’ve had a valid excuse. lol. (alright, so that was just a fun fact. hahaha.)

ah, i want more saturdays like this! =)

Only four months ‘til this year ends and I am so not satisfied with who I turned out to be this year, so far. I have been pretty much on a p-muls (uhuh, doing it backwards, Detective Peralta *winks) to say the least.

The pictures above, I took them when I was on holiday last Monday.

After it rained so hard in our place (with matching lightning and thunder), I went out and had a walk through my grandma’s beloved plants, and yeah, took some photos of them. I was not actually planning to spend my holiday at home, and it was quite my first time to not go to the office on a holiday (except during the Holy Friday last March) since I started working. Yep, I am as diligent as that. Lol kiddin’. It’s just that sometimes, I find it much better to go to work and get paid than to stay at home doing nothing all day. Anyway, I just miss the feeling of being at home. Alone. And I pretty much had that last Monday since my sibs had some school activities to attend to despite the holiday. So yeah, I quite had the time to reflect about my life, and it lowkey just got me a bit stressed out, ‘cos the things that have been going on in my life are quite the opposite of how I wanted them to be. But that’s fine. That’s just fine.

On another note, I was planning to be out this weekend to just unwind and loosen up, but then because of the not-so-good weather in my place, it got canceled. It got me a bit frustrated ‘cos I wanted it to happen so badly and I have been looking forward to it, but the weather screwed up the plan, and it’s something beyond my control or anyone else’s, so okay, I just had to shrug it off.

And to get rid of the unpleasant feeling that I have in my system today, I settled to deep clean my room, change the sheets, go through all my drawers and get rid of the things that are no longer serving me any good. And I found a lot of unused stationery items, which I actually already forgot that I have. Also, notebooks of different sizes, some with only the first few pages I have used, others I have left unwritten at all. (But nope, I am not throwing them away). I’ve also found lotsa loose papers with my random thoughts written on them, old photos of me and my friends, receipts, receipts, receipts. Sometimes, decluttering really brings me nostalgia because of the good ol’ stuff I get to find again, but yeah, I have freed some space now, and I feel lighter. And who else loves the feeling of lying down on newly-changed sheets? Because I do, I really do. It’s like a whole new life, another chance to start having things figured out. Lol.

Alright, I guess that’s all I could say for now. Not sure if I am even making any sense, but it always feels good to just not care and just type and type as the words come out.

And these just fed my hopeless romantic heart. Aaaahhh.

I was planning to watch The Day After Valentines yesterday (Saturday) as some kind of a treat to myself, but then I had to finish my household chores in the morning, and when I was about to go in the afternoon, it rained so hard. So yeah, I had to cancel and opted to just stay in for the rest of the day, watched some Youtube videos, listened to some of my fave jam while the rain is pouring down, and slept.

And this morning, right after church, I decided to get some Japanese siomai to satisfy my cravings, visited the bookstore (and ended up buying Sudoku and Word Search Puzzles instead of books lol), and headed to the cinema to watch The Day After Valentines with my cousin, Rica. I can say it was good. Some scenes have stabbed me right into my chest, but I was expecting for more, but again, it’s still good.

I can feel how awful it is to be liked, admired or whatever just because they think I am strong or that I am great, but once they see who I really am and realize that I am pretty messed up, they’ll take a few steps back and gradually leave. Yeah, I know it’s terrible, but perhaps that’s just how it goes. And here’s the thing, we often go out of our way and try to fix broken things, even though we, ourselves, are broken.

And daaang the OST has been replaying inside my head. Nonstop.



On a second note, it rained so hard again this afternoon, so I thought it was just perfect to snuggle in bed while watching To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. Hence, I did and I enjoyed it a lot. The novel, from which it was adapted, has been a favorite of my high school heart, and it’s no surprise that I also like the movie especially that it’s not too far from the book, or probably somehow? Idk, it’s been years since I’ve read the book and I cannot anymore remember everything. But one of the biggest reasons why I like the story is that I can relate to Lara Jean big time especially on being the invisible girl and on the writing love letters part. But nope, of course, I didn’t address the letters and I don’t even think they will ever get sent. Lol.

“The more people you let in, the more can just walk right out.” Maaaaaan, I felt that.

Anyway, my words are just too random tonight (or always), but to put it simply, it’s been a great day today, although I still am not at my best, one day, I’ll get there. :)

I am currently in an unfamiliar place, locked inside a room that I have just entered for the very first time. I’m not feeling a hundred percent well. I feel dizzy. The world feels shaky every time I stand up. This is a weird feeling. I’ve never felt this groggy my whole life before.

I think I need some rest. That’s why I’m here. This was unplanned. I never actually thought that I’d spend my Saturday this way.

It was just late last night when I kissed my mom goodnight (which I normally do), and she told me that she has to wake up early the next day ‘cos she’s going somewhere for some business meeting. Without having second thoughts I asked her if I can go too, and without thinking otherwise, she said yes. So that explains why I’m here.

This town is two hours away from our place. The road was fine but a little bit zigzag-y, and I was sitting at the back portion of the van. While traveling, I thought I was feeling fine, but after a 2-hr drive, right after we got off, I started to feel like I could not anymore carry my head. So I told my mom that I really need some rest, and that I could not endure another same ride home for today. I really couldn’t. Thus, we looked for a place to stay overnight, and this is where I am currently at. We’re supposed to go home by this afternoon but some things just would not go as planned, so yeah.

My mom has left for now to attend her business meeting and I’m alone atm. Glad there’s a wifi and a tv for some background noise.

I guess I need to get some sleep now. Hope I’ll feel better when I wake up.

A little more than a day and July would now be waving a “see-you-again.” Perhaps August can’t wait to say hello for another round. Why are the days flying so fast? Omg, wait.

How did I even spend the days of July? Hmm, well… Still, I have not been keeping track of my days. I was just kind of going with the flow. I’ve kept myself from worrying too much and just tried not to care.

If you ask me how I’ve been doing, an honest answer would be, I’ve been fine and feeling better. I’ve been keeping in touch with some good ol’ friends and did some catching up’s with them. I’m still trying to rekindle the flame inside me that was once put out. I still feel stuck, but not really.

Yes, another “Sunday-currently-ish” entry, but I’m posting this on a Monday just because. I figured I’d better do this every end of the month. Maybe, but nope, I still could not promise that I’d be consistent with this. Lol. But I am trying to. Really.

Okay. Enough blabbing, so I am currently…


The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. I have this on my to-read list for a few months now, and just a few days ago, I decided to give it a shot, and daaaaaang! I was only in the first few pages yet, but I already got hit so hard. I haven’t gone far with the book yet ‘cos I want to keep it slow and absorb things first before I flip through the next pages, but so far, I like it very much, although the “f” word was mentioned for quite a thousand times already and I’m guessing there’s still more to come. Lol.


I haven’t been writing anything except a little something for this blog. I mean, the stuff that I post in here if we can consider them as “writing”. No journal, no question diary, none, nada. I am not too sad nor broken to write anything. Idk. Nothing is worth writing for me now. And even if I try, the right words are nowhere to be found.


Right now, right at this moment, I’m listening to this playlist I’ve made just a little few days ago. Lately, I just wanna free my mind. Release all the pressure of this adulting kinda stuff, and just let loose. I am not good at dancing, but I just wanna dance all the stress away (at least in my head lol). Also been listening to some public chill playlist available in Spotify lately.


I haven’t been thinking too much, except that a big project that I need to work on manages to cross my mind from time to time. I want to brush it off for now, although I have been putting it off for weeks already (sssshhh sorry). I mean, please, give me some time. I promise I’ll get back to it soon.


I’m hoping that I’ll get to be consistent with my bullet journal this time. Yes, I’m trying it once again. FOR THE ~NTH~ TIME THIS YEAR. The past months are quite a fail, but nope, I am not giving up yet.


I, myself, do not know what I am needing right now. Or at least, I just couldn’t think of any, but God knows, so I’m more than fine. No need to worry. He’ll provide.


I’m on the first day of my period today and idk what to feel. I mean, yeah, like the usual, I feel extra tired. Also, I didn’t feel like talking for like the whole day. I wasn’t sad but I didn’t feel like smiling too. Idk. I had to force my laugh and smile (a little) so I wouldn’t look snobbish or whatever in the office today, especially that we have a new trainee. Also, I felt irritated and was trying my best to not let it show on the outside, because hello??? I don’t wanna affect anyone with my mood. It’s no one’s fault anyway. It’s just my hormones acting up.

So yeah, that’s it! I am always more than happy to post stuff like this.

one. I woke up earlier than I should today and chose to stay a bit longer in bed. It’s a Saturday and I have no work-related stuff to worry about, so hooray!

two. I was supposed to go out today, run some errands and do some grocery shopping, but I opted to just stay in and put it off until tomorrow.

three. Saturdays are my laundry days, but not today just because it might ruin my nails. I just painted them last, last night and it wasn’t easy just because. Lol. For some reason, I do handwash some of my clothes so yeah... perhaps some girls could relate. I would like to know that I am not the only one. =)

four. So far, I almost had no rice today. I just didn’t feel like having some. I had hard-boiled eggs and a cup of coffee during breakfast, and some siomai during lunch.  I am not feeling hungry at all. Idk. This is just one of those days.

five. I have been studying the financial figures of an entity ‘cos I need to come up with some proper Accounting system for them, and guess what? I am not even halfway through it. There are still tons of transactions that I need to analyze and I am supposed to continue studying it today, but look what I am doing now??? Some days I can feel some regrets about accepting the responsibility, but I have to convince myself that I need this at least for a little growth in my career.

six. Something is making me feel anxious since yesterday and as much as I want to talk about it here, I can’t. I just can’t. Maybe I am just overthinking. Ah yeah right, I gotta win over my thoughts.

seven. I just finished watching Midnight Sun with my brother and my cousins. And aaaaahhhh my heart. Also, I love the soundtrack. Yaaay. *whispers* It was a good cry.

Currently, I am just waiting for dinner to be served (I should have been helping, ahuh). Hmm, so how was your day? :)

+ people come and i treasure them. people go and i still treasure them. i won’t chase. i won’t run after them, but that does not mean i don’t care because i do. i always do.

+ perhaps being twenty-two is about getting lost, walking with no specific destination until i find myself coming back to the things i love -- to the things that really matter to me. i’ll get there one day. perhaps not now, but someday.

+ six months in my current work and i realized that a workplace would never be perfect. at first, i thought it is, but nope, it isn’t. and i still have this question in my head yet to be answered: what makes a person stay or go? is it the work or the people? maybe, just maybe, i’ll find the answer in me.

+ i missed taking photos of the sky. it has been awhile.

Another month has just ended, and here I am, motivated to restart my life and willing to pick myself up once again. We’re now down to the second half of the year, wow! And June, oh June, went by too swiftly for me. Things were quite a blur. I feel like I have a lot to share through this post, but at the same time, none. Lol. Idk. I just cannot gather my thoughts in one place just yet, so I suppose, a Sunday Currently entry could save me from this.

Anywoo, let’s now jump unto what I am currently up to:


I’ve got a list of books to read, but I am still stuck in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I’m not sure if I already mentioned it here, but it is actually a required-reading in our company, and I am now on the third habit. I try to read, at the very least, five pages a day, but sadly, I cannot do it every day. Anyway, I am now on the third habit (STILL. Lol. I am almost six months in my work now, but yeah).


I have been doing this Questions Diary (it's a mobile app) where I have to answer one question a day. I thought it would be easy, but I was wrong. It made me realize how much I haven’t taken the time to know myself, but it is helping me a lot. I have not planned to do it everyday, though but I am enjoying it. I actually thought about sharing the questions and my answers here in this blog, but not now perhaps. Also, I am starting my bullet journal again (I hate how much I am so motivated every beginning of the month and then lose all of it the next day).


I haven’t been listening to a lot of songs lately except the songs in my playlist in Spotify. It is just a mix of everything -- a mix of all kinds of songs that I enjoy listening to.


I have been thinking about the things that I wanna achieve in life. My goal then was to become a CPA then I’ll get my first job, and I would enroll myself in a masters degree right after I become a CPA. I have already achieved the first two, and we all know what my next step should be, but something got into the way. Yesterday, I went back to my Alma Mater to attend a parents’ orientation for my brother (’cos mom was busy), and I saw the long line of people enrolling in the graduate school and I felt the strong urge to join the line. If only I had the documents needed by then, I might have enrolled myself impulsively. But as I’ve said, something got in the way. I’ve just committed myself into something that would probably consume my Saturdays, and it’s career-related, although I am not fully committed to it yet because, if ever, my post-grad classes would also be on Saturdays, so yeah, I am in torn. I am also thinking about purchasing something which would be helpful in my current plans, but I am still having second thoughts since we already have this thing which could serve as an alternative at home, but my issue is, it’s not mine alone, and I couldn’t use it whenever I want because I have to share it with everyone else.


I am greatly hoping for better days and I also hope to finally come up with a decision.


All I need for now, other than God’s loving arms, is enough courage and motivation to fulfill the things that I wanna achieve very soon.


I am feeling good. I am feeling great. Aaaaahhhh I have been longing for this feeling of satisfaction for days, and now it’s here. I don’t wanna put it into waste.

And yaaaaay! I missed posting a lengthy entry and now it’s here! :) How have y’all been doing?