Getting Busier

Saturday, March 31, 2018


Okay, I tried so hard to be away from Tumblr for at least a week, but guess who’s now back? Lol.

One. There’s one thing I have discovered about myself. I don’t hold grudges, but I cannot utter the words “sorry” if I know in myself that I am not at fault. I don’t stay angry towards a thing for a long time. I might get pissed off, I may feel bad about it for a moment, I may cry, but after some time, I’m already fine with it. Life goes on like as if nothing happened, and I would treat the person/s involved the way that I usually do, hoping that that action would be interpreted as “I’m sorry. I hope we’re okay now. I am not angry, I hope you aren’t too,” but of course it would not always be the case. I cannot expect them to interpret my action that way without saying a word to justify it. It’s my pride, I know, and there’s no way it’s healthy, and I would need to do something to work on that.

Two. My work life’s getting busier and busier and busier, the reason why Maundy Thursday was not a holiday for us in the office. On Good Friday, we had the choice whether to go to work or not, and I opted not to. Everyone was in the house that day, my mom was too, and I don’t want to make any excuse to miss that kind of rare moment. And yaaaay! We made some fruit pan, just as what we usually do on Good Fridays.

Three. I remember a corporate tip I have picked up from our Mandarin professor way back in college: “When you notice a problem in the company, make sure to have some ready solution in mind if you decide to escalate it to your boss.” That is if you want to make some good impression from your boss (it’s also a good tip for a promotion). For me, as corporate slaves, we are not in the company to just discover and report problems (it will just give headaches to our bosses lol), we are here to help them solve those problems. I am not sure if I am making any sense, but trust me, it works!

Four. I bumped into some college classmates last Thursday. I was expecting for a “Kamusta ka na?” but instead, what I got was “Saan ka na nagtra-trabaho?” Lol. Okay. As much as I don’t want to tell them where, I still did.

Five. Visited a cafe with mom and mom’s office mate and with her daughter too. I actually didn’t want to, but mom insisted, so okay. I didn’t want to spend hundreds only for a cheesy nacho and a peppermint-flavored frappe that my taste buds didn’t actually enjoy, but anyway, it was mom who paid for them. She had no choice because I only got tagged along. Hahaha.

Six. I had a very peaceful life while I was away from all my social media accounts even if it was only for a few days. But truth be told, I cheated. Obviously, I should have not opened Tumblr yet until Monday, but I just did. And I opened it yesterday to check for messages and notifications. Lol. Okay, sorry, self. Nevertheless, it was a good try.

And yep, that's it for this week! :-)


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sincerely,
riz



Appreciate

Saturday, March 24, 2018


i. I gave Twitter another try after taking a short break from it since the second week of this year, but I don’t think it’s going to be the same. The comfort was gone. It felt overwhelming. I changed my mind. I am not going back. Or maybe not now.

ii. I don’t know what I did to deserve such wonderful people in my life. Yep, I have a few but they defo are all gems! ♥

iii. I am feeling so kilig because of all those appreciation I have received from my superiors in the office, like hey, all the efforts are not put into waste. They recognize even the little things I do to contribute. I wasn’t even expecting that they’ll notice those, but yah, thanks!

iv. The past week was so full of overtime, but I am not complaining. I wholeheartedly love what I do. :-)

v. Realization: When you stop begging for attention and start to just live your life the way you want it to, that’s when worthy people begin to notice you.

vi. My Saturday is just all about doing my laundry, Tumblr, sleep, and watching my brother playing ROS while waiting for my turn to use the PC pero wala, dedma.

Hey, you! Yes you, how’s your life going?


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sincerely,
riz

Do Other People Even Care?

Thursday, March 22, 2018


Why do people around always make us feel obligated to pay back to our parents and serve everyone in the family once we landed a job after college, like as if we are not allowed to enjoy just yet until we have served them enough?

Don’t get me wrong. I definitely have nothing against paying back and helping my family. It’s actually one of the reasons why I am trying to do great in whatever path I am taking. It is one of my major goals. Nothing could ever make me happier than seeing them happy and proud and living a comfortable life.

It is just so irksome how the people around could be so nosy sometimes (or always). And I don’t think “nosy” could even be enough to describe them. Idk if it’s good or bad, but I hate it big time whenever people get into my business, especially when they are indirectly telling me what to do like as if they have the right to.

Those people who have been with me through my lowest lows (aka my fam) are not even saying anything, not even asking me to do this and that. And I wonder where those nosy people get all those nerves to tell me not to get a boyfriend yet just because I have not yet helped the family enough. And they even think they have the say-so where I should spend the money I earn. Patayo daw muna ako ng bahay bago ako mag-enjoy ng todo. Wow!

“Baka mag-asawa ka na nyan kasi feeling mo kaya mo na.” “Baka gumaya ka kay ganito, kay ganyan na nag-asawa lang agad pagkatapos pag-aralin ng magulang.” HEY, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP COMPARING ME TO ANYONE? Hello??? Can you please stop telling me what to do and not to do in a roundabout manner when you are not even entitled to do so? I am not that dunderheaded not to get what you mean and I know what I am doing.

UGH!I don’t want them to get into my nerves. They are definitely just a waste of energy, but sometimes they could just be too much.

Can they just drop all their expectations and just let us be???

I am sick and tired of hearing their unsolicited comments.

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sincerely,
riz

Nuisance

Sunday, March 18, 2018


I have so much sense of ownership inside of me, that whenever I consider something as my own, you must pay due respect to it. I mean, I don’t want you to touch any of my belongings without my permission. I don’t want you to waste things I consider my own without me knowing about it first.

Nope, I don’t mean to be selfish of these things that I cannot even bring anywhere but in this planet. No, I don’t intend not to share anything. I can be generous, even to a point of being “too” generous. Whatever I consider mine, I can share them with you. All I want is for you to properly ask for some consent. Is that too much?

This is one of the value that I have been living with. This is what my parents taught me since when I was a kid. If it’s not yours, don’t touch it. If you want to borrow something, ask from whoever the permission is due and return them wherever you got them from in the first place.

Don’t get it wrong though. I respect everyone who does not have a high opinion of this same thing. Yep, I certainly understand that we all don’t follow the same standards of behavior, but I hope, you too, could also perceive the significance of my side.

I just hope people understand and how I wish I could tell these things to them aloud, but with the fear of sounding rude and not wanting to hurt their feelings, I chose to keep quiet about it. I made a choice to just hold back the nuisance that I am feeling right now, and I feel like exploding, well… not really. But uughhh!


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sincerely,
riz

Mix of Everything

Saturday, March 17, 2018


This past week was a mix of everything. I got struck with Monday blues. I woke up with zero will to go to work. I was grumpy and was feeling so exhausted. I’m not sure if I got tired of the quick weekend getaway or it was because I stayed up late on a Sunday night. Lol. Of course, it was the latter, but probably more of both.

Okay, so here’s my thought on a Tuesday night: I wonder what impression I make to the people around me. Why does everyone seems to hesitate on approaching me??? This is so true both online and offline. Hey, I don’t bite. Or do I look like a real boring person? Or maybe because I am not that friendly, and so I attract the same kind of energy? I mean, I don’t reach out that’s why people don’t cross the line to make friends with me too. Lol do I make sense, no? Okay.

On a similar note, I’m bit by bit living with the idea that I shouldn’t be bothered if people don’t come up to me (but I can’t help but be bothered sometimes, especially when my hormones are acting up) to be a part of their lives and them to be a part of mine too. Don’t get it wrong, though, everyone who dares to come inside my walls is very much welcome, but for those who don’t, I shouldn’t mind. I should not stress myself too much if no one would even dare. You get my point, no? Alright.

Came Wednesday and my heart was blissful. I was feeling so motivated to live life. I’ve got too many plans in mind. I was very much eager to make myself better and my previous post pretty much explains what my heart was feeling.

Thursday and I had my monthly visit and that prolly explained why I was kind of pettish the whole day. Also, my hips and legs were hurting - the kind of hurt that I can’t explain. This is always the case whenever I’m on the first two days of my period. To be honest, I don’t track my period, but I have them regularly. I only rely on the signs that my body gives, like days before my period I could always feel my boobs hurting, I don’t know if that’s true with some other girls. But there were days that I am a bit worried about it, wondering if it’s normal. Lol. But anyway, it was obvious that I was not feeling very well that day and it was just a bit of a bad timing when I was requested to go OT to finish a Priority 1 task. I was the last one to leave the office (aside from my superiors) and I can now feel the loads of tasks coming into our plates, or more of my plate. Having an active inbox is such a life saver. It clears my mind from any office-related stuff every time I am not in the office, but I am still learning the ropes of it. I still feel like things in my active inbox are a little bit in chaos. With the need to organize everything, I’ve got so much folder hanging around. And sometimes, I tend to forget which I kept this and that. But yep, I am trying to declutter, delete unnecessary folders, and clear the chaos for a much more clearer mind inside the office.

On another personal note, living mindfully is a little bit of a challenge. And if in case I have not mentioned it yet in this blog, my word for this year is “mindfulness,” thus this Weekly Scribbles. This is just a way for me to contemplate and assess what my life had been over a particular week. I tried to write things in my journal, but I failed miserably. I just can’t write physically on a regular basis and it just stresses me out every time I fail to do so. Probably, it’s not just my kind of thing, that’s why I resorted to just share stuff in this Tumblr blog. This is the only place on earth where I am a bit consistent. At least. Lol.

And hey, I have not yet eaten rice for today. Nope, it was never intentional and nope, of course, I am not on a crash diet, not even on a diet. I just didn’t feel like having some rice for breakfast this morning, but of course, I still had my breakfast. And I skipped lunch because I fell asleep after I finished doing my laundry. It was already past 2pm when I woke up and instead of a late lunch, I just opted to have an early merienda instead.

Actually, I was planning to go out with my cousin today, but well, we both got lazy to do so (I am always lazy going out hehe) and so we agreed to just cancel the plan.

And yeah, that’s a wrap for this week’s random scribbles and to anyone who still reads my lengthy posts where my randomness is pretty much all over the place, thank you! It means so much to me. <3


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sincerely,
riz

Pretty Well

Sunday, March 04, 2018



+ I restarted my bullet journal last week and to start anew, I ripped off the old pages. Yeah, getting rid of something from the past that does not anymore help me grow is something I am learning the hard way, but somehow it makes things lighter. It makes going forward easier. And as much as I want to keep these pages in my bullet journal, I just opted not to. Idk but it’s quite dragging to go on when every time I open it I could see them. Those were those months when I am pretty much having a hard time, feeling so lost. I barely even touched those pages. I have not written anything that much in there. Those were my “nothing” days.

+ If anyone ever noticed, I impulsively changed my blog’s theme last Tuesday and I had some minor Tumblr issues going on, so I sent a message to Tumblr support and I’m happy and satisfied of their prompt reply. It helped! Anyway, going back on the new theme, I like it, but it is not as responsive as the previous theme that I used, especially in the mobile view. I am actually having this little debate within myself whether to change it back or just stick with this one. Hmm, what do you think? Yep, I am an indecisive young lady!

+ I attended the company’s Global Staff Meeting for the first time last Wednesday. We were asked to introduce ourselves and I was so nervous and shaky, but fortunately I have pulled it up. Somehow.

+ Okay, so God indeed works even on the littlest of things. Last Wednesday, there was some minor power interruption (more of just  fluctuation) in the place, and among all the computers in the office, it was only mine that shut down. And you know what? It was a blessing in disguise! If it didn’t shut down, I wouldn’t realize that I haven’t turned on my tracker since I started working after lunch. I would have been working without pay the whole afternoon if it didn’t happen. Yes, I am blessed! Always. And remember, you are too! :-)

+ I just wanna share something I have read somewhere. I cannot remember the exact words, but here’s the thought: Our life is both based from the decisions we make and decisions others make. It is something we can control and can’t control at the same time. Does it make sense, yes?

+ I am not sure how exhausted I was last Thursday that I fell asleep without dinner, and with unwashed faced and unbrushed teeth. Lol. So when I happened to wake up at 2 something the next morning, I hurriedly got up, washed my face and brushed my teeth. Then went back to sleep again, which only made it so hard for me to get up at 6am (my supposed to be get up time).

+ And hey, I just discovered that there is a chrome extension for those with no dual monitors. I already got used to working with two monitors because that’s the standard in our office for efficiency. And sometimes, I wish to have two monitors at home too, because indeed, it makes things easier, but then I don’t want to spend more than a thousand for something that is not even that necessary. So this chrome extension is such a boon! The only downside of it that I noticed, so far, is it can be used only in Chrome (of course because it’s a Chrome extension lol), but at least, it’s still of great help.

And yeah, that’s a wrap. My 10th week of 2018 went pretty well.

How about yours? How are you coping up with 2018? What‘s your latest find this week? :-)


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sincerely,
riz

Blowing the Lid Off


Oh, how I miss making Sunday Currently entries!I’m not sure why I stopped doing so? Maybe because my life became so dull that Sundays are no way different from any other days of the week? Or probably, my Sundays are just too uneventful to blog about. And yeah, I may say, both.

Anyway, let’s now head on to what I am currently up to:

READING

I have been reading some self-help articles that I found around the internet these days, because yep, I need them oh-so-badly. Also, I have this one current read that I have been putting off -- The Millionaire Next Door by James Frey. I started with the intro and up until now, I'm not yet into the first chapter, but by far, it's a good read.

WRITING

It’s obvious that I am currently writing (typing) down this post, so let’s now put it into exemption. Actually, I haven’t been writing a lot lately, but I kind of got a lot of ideas in mind. The problem is, I can’t put my  thoughts into words. A lot of things have been hovering around my brain, but they were all trapped in there, like they were just meant to be only at the back of my mind. But please no. I wanna write them down to at least lighten the weight that my head carries. I am actually planning to engage myself into a 30-Day Journaling to at least discover things about myself. I won’t deny that I still don’t know myself fully yet, that if you’ll ask me about my favorites, I will have a hard time on answering that. Yeah, at 22, I just started to mindfully plunge into the never-ending process of self-discovery (and the key word there is “mindfully”).

LISTENING

As of writing, I am currently playing this Chill Hits playlist in Spotify and the song that plays in the background right at this moment is “I Miss You” by Clean Bandit ft. Julia Michaels. These days, I have been listening to the Pinoy Indie Mix playlist and  the Acoustic Lounge. They kind of became my comfort playlist especially while I’m inside the office.

THINKING

I have been thinking about the many possibilities in life. I have been asking myself if I am currently happy to where I am right now. And the honest answer is, I am, but I don’t want to feel this contented for the rest of my life. I’m way too much into my comfort zone right now especially in this job that I currently have. This is something I could do for the rest of my life, but at the same time, I shouldn’t let myself be stuck in this kind of comfort. I need to explore. I need to get out of the unknown. So I have been thinking about getting some part-time job since I still have some spare time in a week. I actually want to expose myself into academe ever since (yep, I want to teach!), so I have been trying to weigh things out so I could see if there’s any chances for me to push it through.

HOPING

I am hoping to bring my entire old self back. I hope to be back in the sunny disposition. I should stop depending my worth to the people around me. I should stop going through other people’s lives (aka stalking their social media accounts) because it just ruins the confidence that I have in myself. I hope I would be more mindful in the coming days. I hope I won’t be too hard on myself anymore.

NEEDING

I guess my body needs to do some exercise now. Baby fats in my abdomen are gradually forming and I have been experiencing mild back pain, probably due to sitting down all day and I had a note of scoliosis in my last x-ray result. So I badly need to get moving (hayy why am I such a lazy bum?) and release all the sweats.

FEELING

I’m not sure if it’s obvious, but I have been feeling so random since this year started. One minute I am feeling sunny and lighthearted, then all of a sudden I would turn into one melancholic and downhearted lass. Sometimes I would feel so motivated to live life, but a few seconds later, I am already feeling disheartened and everything just seem to be so daunting. Two months had passed, but I am still on my trial months  for this year. I just hope this one whole year wouldn’t end up as a trial all throughout. Lol.

Oopps! This post turned to be a bit lengthy! See? I certainly have too much in mind. And it’s a sigh of relief having to unload some of them in here.


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sincerely,
riz

Entangled

Thursday, March 01, 2018

  • I woke up last Monday almost with no energy and only halfway through it, I was already feeling so drained.
  • Also I was a bit irritated every time somebody talked to me with no apparent reason.
  • Plus, I left my earphones and my mood slid down rock-bottom all the way.
  • Last Tuesday was the busiest I’ve ever been inside the office. Sabog yung email ko with all the tasks, but yeah, survived!
  • Lahat ng nanggugulo ng buhay eh manggugulo lang rin talaga.
  • We get attached to people, our life gets messed up while there they are, living their lives with zero idea about it.
  • I need to read more in order to write more.
  • I have this current read that I have been putting off, but so far, it’s one great read (nope, it’s not fictional).
  • I started bullet journaling again, and so far, I failed to keep up. *sigh* I guess, this is not just my kind of thing (huwag ko na kasi dapat ipilit dba?).
  • Tracking my expenses everyday is hard work (!!!), especially to someone like me who is not that consistent.
  • Kaya siguro wala pang lalaking dumarating sa buhay ko kasi  di pa rin naman talaga ako handa maging consistent at committed (½ jk).

See how random and messy  this weekly scribbles is? Lol. This clearly represents my thoughts - messy, entangled, random and whatever.

How did your week went?

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sincerely,
riz


sincerely, riz