Blowing the Lid Off

Sunday, March 04, 2018

Oh, how I miss making Sunday Currently entries!I’m not sure why I stopped doing so? Maybe because my life became so dull that Sundays are no way different from any other days of the week? Or probably, my Sundays are just too uneventful to blog about. And yeah, I may say, both.

Anyway, let’s now head on to what I am currently up to:


I have been reading some self-help articles that I found around the internet these days, because yep, I need them oh-so-badly. Also, I have this one current read that I have been putting off -- The Millionaire Next Door by James Frey. I started with the intro and up until now, I'm not yet into the first chapter, but by far, it's a good read.


It’s obvious that I am currently writing (typing) down this post, so let’s now put it into exemption. Actually, I haven’t been writing a lot lately, but I kind of got a lot of ideas in mind. The problem is, I can’t put my  thoughts into words. A lot of things have been hovering around my brain, but they were all trapped in there, like they were just meant to be only at the back of my mind. But please no. I wanna write them down to at least lighten the weight that my head carries. I am actually planning to engage myself into a 30-Day Journaling to at least discover things about myself. I won’t deny that I still don’t know myself fully yet, that if you’ll ask me about my favorites, I will have a hard time on answering that. Yeah, at 22, I just started to mindfully plunge into the never-ending process of self-discovery (and the key word there is “mindfully”).


As of writing, I am currently playing this Chill Hits playlist in Spotify and the song that plays in the background right at this moment is “I Miss You” by Clean Bandit ft. Julia Michaels. These days, I have been listening to the Pinoy Indie Mix playlist and  the Acoustic Lounge. They kind of became my comfort playlist especially while I’m inside the office.


I have been thinking about the many possibilities in life. I have been asking myself if I am currently happy to where I am right now. And the honest answer is, I am, but I don’t want to feel this contented for the rest of my life. I’m way too much into my comfort zone right now especially in this job that I currently have. This is something I could do for the rest of my life, but at the same time, I shouldn’t let myself be stuck in this kind of comfort. I need to explore. I need to get out of the unknown. So I have been thinking about getting some part-time job since I still have some spare time in a week. I actually want to expose myself into academe ever since (yep, I want to teach!), so I have been trying to weigh things out so I could see if there’s any chances for me to push it through.


I am hoping to bring my entire old self back. I hope to be back in the sunny disposition. I should stop depending my worth to the people around me. I should stop going through other people’s lives (aka stalking their social media accounts) because it just ruins the confidence that I have in myself. I hope I would be more mindful in the coming days. I hope I won’t be too hard on myself anymore.


I guess my body needs to do some exercise now. Baby fats in my abdomen are gradually forming and I have been experiencing mild back pain, probably due to sitting down all day and I had a note of scoliosis in my last x-ray result. So I badly need to get moving (hayy why am I such a lazy bum?) and release all the sweats.


I’m not sure if it’s obvious, but I have been feeling so random since this year started. One minute I am feeling sunny and lighthearted, then all of a sudden I would turn into one melancholic and downhearted lass. Sometimes I would feel so motivated to live life, but a few seconds later, I am already feeling disheartened and everything just seem to be so daunting. Two months had passed, but I am still on my trial months  for this year. I just hope this one whole year wouldn’t end up as a trial all throughout. Lol.

Oopps! This post turned to be a bit lengthy! See? I certainly have too much in mind. And it’s a sigh of relief having to unload some of them in here.



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sincerely, riz