Mix of Everything

Saturday, March 17, 2018

This past week was a mix of everything. I got struck with Monday blues. I woke up with zero will to go to work. I was grumpy and was feeling so exhausted. I’m not sure if I got tired of the quick weekend getaway or it was because I stayed up late on a Sunday night. Lol. Of course, it was the latter, but probably more of both.

Okay, so here’s my thought on a Tuesday night: I wonder what impression I make to the people around me. Why does everyone seems to hesitate on approaching me??? This is so true both online and offline. Hey, I don’t bite. Or do I look like a real boring person? Or maybe because I am not that friendly, and so I attract the same kind of energy? I mean, I don’t reach out that’s why people don’t cross the line to make friends with me too. Lol do I make sense, no? Okay.

On a similar note, I’m bit by bit living with the idea that I shouldn’t be bothered if people don’t come up to me (but I can’t help but be bothered sometimes, especially when my hormones are acting up) to be a part of their lives and them to be a part of mine too. Don’t get it wrong, though, everyone who dares to come inside my walls is very much welcome, but for those who don’t, I shouldn’t mind. I should not stress myself too much if no one would even dare. You get my point, no? Alright.

Came Wednesday and my heart was blissful. I was feeling so motivated to live life. I’ve got too many plans in mind. I was very much eager to make myself better and my previous post pretty much explains what my heart was feeling.

Thursday and I had my monthly visit and that prolly explained why I was kind of pettish the whole day. Also, my hips and legs were hurting - the kind of hurt that I can’t explain. This is always the case whenever I’m on the first two days of my period. To be honest, I don’t track my period, but I have them regularly. I only rely on the signs that my body gives, like days before my period I could always feel my boobs hurting, I don’t know if that’s true with some other girls. But there were days that I am a bit worried about it, wondering if it’s normal. Lol. But anyway, it was obvious that I was not feeling very well that day and it was just a bit of a bad timing when I was requested to go OT to finish a Priority 1 task. I was the last one to leave the office (aside from my superiors) and I can now feel the loads of tasks coming into our plates, or more of my plate. Having an active inbox is such a life saver. It clears my mind from any office-related stuff every time I am not in the office, but I am still learning the ropes of it. I still feel like things in my active inbox are a little bit in chaos. With the need to organize everything, I’ve got so much folder hanging around. And sometimes, I tend to forget which I kept this and that. But yep, I am trying to declutter, delete unnecessary folders, and clear the chaos for a much more clearer mind inside the office.

On another personal note, living mindfully is a little bit of a challenge. And if in case I have not mentioned it yet in this blog, my word for this year is “mindfulness,” thus this Weekly Scribbles. This is just a way for me to contemplate and assess what my life had been over a particular week. I tried to write things in my journal, but I failed miserably. I just can’t write physically on a regular basis and it just stresses me out every time I fail to do so. Probably, it’s not just my kind of thing, that’s why I resorted to just share stuff in this Tumblr blog. This is the only place on earth where I am a bit consistent. At least. Lol.

And hey, I have not yet eaten rice for today. Nope, it was never intentional and nope, of course, I am not on a crash diet, not even on a diet. I just didn’t feel like having some rice for breakfast this morning, but of course, I still had my breakfast. And I skipped lunch because I fell asleep after I finished doing my laundry. It was already past 2pm when I woke up and instead of a late lunch, I just opted to have an early merienda instead.

Actually, I was planning to go out with my cousin today, but well, we both got lazy to do so (I am always lazy going out hehe) and so we agreed to just cancel the plan.

And yeah, that’s a wrap for this week’s random scribbles and to anyone who still reads my lengthy posts where my randomness is pretty much all over the place, thank you! It means so much to me. <3



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sincerely, riz