Realizations

Saturday, April 28, 2018

I had a lot of realizations for the past few days, but I don’t feel like writing anything about them. I. Just. Don’t. Feel. Like. Writing. Anything.

I was feeling so bad last week. Know why? Because I’m letting other people control my life. Yes, I know. It sucks big time and I am still on the process of learning to widen my circle of influence than letting myself get eaten up by my circle of concern.

And you know what? I just realized why I am feeling sad and miserable most of the days (particularly right after I took the boards). It’s because more often than not, I ain’t getting enough sleep, unlike before. I used to sleep early. My day wouldn’t be complete if I don’t get to have enough sleep. I couldn’t stay up later than 10pm, but everything turned the other way around when I was done with all the studying and stuff. I started staying up so late until my body clock got all screwed up. So yeah, perhaps that could give an answer to my own question, on why I have been feeling this way, though I was never like this before. I used to be on the brighter side. I used to control my emotions instead of my emotions controlling me, but look what’s happening now. It’s pretty much the opposite. And yeah, depressed people usually lack sleep and when one lacks sleep, hee is more prone to depression. You get the picture, yes? So we have to get enough sleep :)

I’m feeling so motivated to make myself better and I’m taking baby steps towards it. Right now, I’m trying to establish personal mission statements that would govern my decisions in life. And this time, I don’t want to pressure myself about doing this and that. I just want to start everything smoothly so I wouldn’t end up frustrated in case I fail something.

On the other note, I’ve got a long list of books to read and I am so excited to read them all. Yaay!

Anyway, I’m not sure if I am even making any sense. My words are so random, so guess that’s all for now.

I hope life’s treating you well. :)


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sincerely,
riz

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sincerely, riz