A Little Chill Sunday

Sunday, August 19, 2018

And these just fed my hopeless romantic heart. Aaaahhh.

I was planning to watch The Day After Valentines yesterday (Saturday) as some kind of a treat to myself, but then I had to finish my household chores in the morning, and when I was about to go in the afternoon, it rained so hard. So yeah, I had to cancel and opted to just stay in for the rest of the day, watched some Youtube videos, listened to some of my fave jam while the rain is pouring down, and slept.

And this morning, right after church, I decided to get some Japanese siomai to satisfy my cravings, visited the bookstore (and ended up buying Sudoku and Word Search Puzzles instead of books lol), and headed to the cinema to watch The Day After Valentines with my cousin, Rica. I can say it was good. Some scenes have stabbed me right into my chest, but I was expecting for more, but again, it’s still good.

I can feel how awful it is to be liked, admired or whatever just because they think I am strong or that I am great, but once they see who I really am and realize that I am pretty messed up, they’ll take a few steps back and gradually leave. Yeah, I know it’s terrible, but perhaps that’s just how it goes. And here’s the thing, we often go out of our way and try to fix broken things, even though we, ourselves, are broken.

And daaang the OST has been replaying inside my head. Nonstop.

On a second note, it rained so hard again this afternoon, so I thought it was just perfect to snuggle in bed while watching To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. Hence, I did and I enjoyed it a lot. The novel, from which it was adapted, has been a favorite of my high school heart, and it’s no surprise that I also like the movie especially that it’s not too far from the book, or probably somehow? Idk, it’s been years since I’ve read the book and I cannot anymore remember everything. But one of the biggest reasons why I like the story is that I can relate to Lara Jean big time especially on being the invisible girl and on the writing love letters part. But nope, of course, I didn’t address the letters and I don’t even think they will ever get sent. Lol.

“The more people you let in, the more can just walk right out.” Maaaaaan, I felt that.

Anyway, my words are just too random tonight (or always), but to put it simply, it’s been a great day today, although I still am not at my best, one day, I’ll get there. :)



In Unfamiliar Place

Sunday, August 12, 2018

I am currently in an unfamiliar place, locked inside a room that I have just entered for the very first time. I’m not feeling a hundred percent well. I feel dizzy. The world feels shaky every time I stand up. This is a weird feeling. I’ve never felt this groggy my whole life before.

I think I need some rest. That’s why I’m here. This was unplanned. I never actually thought that I’d spend my Saturday this way.

It was just late last night when I kissed my mom goodnight (which I normally do), and she told me that she has to wake up early the next day ‘cos she’s going somewhere for some business meeting. Without having second thoughts I asked her if I can go too, and without thinking otherwise, she said yes. So that explains why I’m here.

This town is two hours away from our place. The road was fine but a little bit zigzag-y, and I was sitting at the back portion of the van. While traveling, I thought I was feeling fine, but after a 2-hr drive, right after we got off, I started to feel like I could not anymore carry my head. So I told my mom that I really need some rest, and that I could not endure another same ride home for today. I really couldn’t. Thus, we looked for a place to stay overnight, and this is where I am currently at. We’re supposed to go home by this afternoon but some things just would not go as planned, so yeah.

My mom has left for now to attend her business meeting and I’m alone atm. Glad there’s a wifi and a tv for some background noise.

I guess I need to get some sleep now. Hope I’ll feel better when I wake up.



sincerely, riz