See you again, September

Sunday, September 30, 2018


Whaaaaaat??? September is already ending??? Wow! And since we’re almost about to welcome another month now, here I am with another ~currently~ entry. I’ve been trying to do this monthly but I skipped this last month. I was actually still planning to post a similar entry previously but I have been putting it off for some reason, only to realize that another month is again ending. Gahd. I swear this is the fastest month of this year, so far. Idk if it’s just me.

READING

I honestly haven’t been reading a book lately. The things that I have been reading for the past weeks are just random articles around the web. Also, I was quite binged reading blogs of some good ol’ Tumblr friends who have decided to step up their blogging games and are now on a new blogging platform. I have been in the mood to hop from one blog to another, trying to pick some inspiration up here and there, because, quite honestly, I felt like quitting already – leaving Tumblr for good, but guess, that’s another story to tell. :) Anyway, I’m planning to read The Alchemist soon. It’s been in my to-read list since forever, but I’ve never given it some time yet.

WRITING

Oh well… still, I haven’t been writing except a few stuff for this blog every now and then Idk. I just couldn’t find enough drive to write, but you know, I’ve always wanted to be called a “writer,” but then, the term doesn’t fit me well. I am just a frustrated one, and most of the time, I can write only for this blog – for the sake of keeping memories through words, that someday I may read through what I’ve written, look back to how things used to be, and realize how much I’ve grown.

LISTENING

Right now, I am not listening to anything in particular. Just some white noise inside my room. Also, I’d like to add that I have been listening to a lot of OPM songs these days, especially in the office, while I am dealing with some financial figures.

THINKING

There’s a lot that’s going on in my head lately, particularly some random adulting stuff. I have been thinking about how I can manage my finances really well with all these bills at home that I’ve promised to shoulder (which I am already actually doing). And the most recent thoughts that have been occupying my mind are about having a room makeover, and on how I could get rid of all the clutter inside our home. I have been lowkey trying to indulge myself into a minimalism lifestyle since last year, and most of the days, I just want fewer things around especially at home, but my family is quite a hoarder. And so, I have been trying to think of better ways to have a clearer home without really getting rid of the things that my fam don’t wanna get rid of just yet. You know what I mean? Lol. Like rearranging and stuff like that. Anyway, yeah, those are just a few of the things that I’ve been thinking about.

HOPING

I’m hoping that I could maintain this light feeling that I do have right now for the rest of the week at least. Also, I am hoping for more motivation at work. I feel like I don’t have enough of it anymore. I haven’t been giving my best on whatever I have to handle recently. I am just not satisfied with my performance these days, and I sometimes get pissed off easily, because ugh. People. I just hope they would realize that whenever I have my earphones on, it means “I don’t wanna talk.” Lol.

NEEDING

I pretty much need some sleep. I have been staying up late. I don’t know why. I used to sleep early before (by before, I mean only until I took the board lol), but dang, my body clock has been effed up, especially when I was on this stage where I wasn’t anymore studying but not yet working either, and until now that I am already employed, I find it hard to bring it back to how it used to.

FEELING

I have not stayed in too much this weekend. I’ve been out and about, which aren’t even planned, but nope, I am not complaining. So now, I am feeling tired and in dire need of sleep, but I still have some things to do, like having my uniform ironed out and tracking my finances, to name just a few. Yep, I have been trying to keep track of everything that goes in and out ever since I started working, so I’d know where and when to stop splurging. Anyway, I am just glad that I am feeling so light right now, actually feeling extra and a bit pumped up, but recently, I’ve had nights when I locked myself inside my room and just cried and cried and cried. I just felt frustrated of myself, also been feeling needy but had no nerves to tell it to anyone, and I just felt like I am not worthy of anyone’s time. Anyway, I’ve already cried all the heavy feelings out. I even had a petty fight with mom. She has been very busy and barely had time for us and I feel sorry that I’ve been feeling needy and acting selfish and immature and was begging for her time. Sorry, mom. I should have understood, but we’re all fine now. I had to knock at her door the next morning to say sorry, and I cried like a baby while she was hugging me. I am feeling all so fine now. =)

Alright, that’s pretty much it! Whoops, again, I wasn’t expecting that this post would turn out this long. Lol. Hi!

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sincerely,
riz


Serendipity (n.)

Sunday, September 23, 2018


i. There’s a lot I still need to learn about myself.

ii. God really has His amazing ways to send awesome people in our lives, mostly in the most unexpected ways, to help us discover who we really are; people who could save us from all the demons playing inside our heads, and people who could help us realize that despite anything and everything, life is still great and that there’s so much to enjoy.

iii. I swear I am never a perfect daughter. I can be stubborn at times (or always), doing things my own way without seeking for help and some guidance. I have disappointed God plenty of times, ignored Him even, but He’s been nothing but GREAT to me. Sometimes, I don’t think I still deserve all the goods that have been happening in my life, but God had been and will always be the ever merciful Father. HUHU. LORD, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

iv. I realized, I really must be grateful for enjoying this privilege of having my work totally separated from my personal life. Once I step out of the office, I don’t have anything work-related to worry about anymore, like I am totally free from all the stuff at work. Everything is organized and written down, so I really have nothing to worry about missing anything. My time is all mine on the weekends, and it’s just all up to me where to spend them (which is just mostly at home). This is actually one of the things that is making me stay.

v. Also, people in the office are my workmates, and “workmates” does not always equate to “friends,” but don’t get it wrong, I am in good terms with anyone at work. =)

vi. How I wish I could also stay on top of things in the personal aspect of my life as much as I do at work where things are pretty much organized and properly prioritized, but I’m getting there. I swear I’m getting there. Baby steps, just baby steps.

vii. Ending this with one of the beautiful reminders I’ve stumbled upon in Pinterest:
You are responsible for your happiness. In fact, you create it. You attract it. You manifest it. You are the architect of your reality. You choose your thoughts, your perceptions, and your reaction to external forces. You possess all of the tools needed to expand your awareness, to orchestrate the evolution of your consciousness, to choose happiness, to choose love. You are that powerful. Create the life you deserve. Vibrate love.

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sincerely,
riz

Li'l Catching Up

Sunday, September 16, 2018


One of my best friends went home last Saturday, 8th of September, so we decided to meet up and watch a movie. Yep, we watched The Hows of Us. I was waiting for them to kiss on that scene that’s why I took a snap but nothing happened. Hahaha.

Idk but I didn’t find the movie as nakakaiyak as what I expected it to be (based on the feedbacks that I’ve been seeing around the web), prolly because I couldn’t relate that much yet, or idk. The concepts and life lessons that were being portrayed are just more of warnings for me, like “Ganito ang posibleng mangyari kapag ganito, kapag ganyan, etc.” Don’t hate me, though, it’s just on me, and don’t get me wrong, I did tear up on that part where George read Primo’s letter.

As always, in every movie that I watch, I like to pick up my favorite line/s and here it is from THOU, and it’s from my favorite scene too: “Just ride the tide until the sun rises again because it always does.” And also this: “Isang beses sa napakaraming beses na pwede akong sumuko pero hindi ko ginawa. Pero isang beses lang pala ang kailangan mo para umalis at hindi na bumalik.”

We also wanted to watch Goyo on that same day, but then, after watching THOU, we still had to wait for a few hours for Goyo and we didn’t have that much time to wait, so we just let it pass. We opted to just go somewhere along the beach to have lunch. We planned to catch the sunset, but then a few hours later, it got cloudy, so we just strolled by the seashore and shared updates on each other’s lives.

It feels so good to not just get stuck at home on a Saturday every once in a while. It’s the high time for me to stop scrolling through my phone and just put it down. I actually very rarely have a mobile data subscription ever since ‘cos I feel like I already have enough (sometimes too much) of the internet at home and I just want to get disconnected every time I am going somewhere and out of the house. It helps my mind to get cleared up somehow. The only time I did have some data subscription was when I was living a little away from home (when I was still in review school) ‘cos the place where I was staying then had no wifi. It makes a difference din kasi when you don’t have an easy access to the internet when you’re in review school, and I had to get connected with my family back home, so I’ve had a valid excuse. Lol. (Alright, so that was just a fun fact. Hahaha.)

And that was it!

P.S. This is just super random, but I love, love, love lemon juices!!!

Ah, I want more Saturdays like this! =)

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sincerely,
riz


Pretty Much on a Slump

Saturday, September 01, 2018




Only four months ‘til this year ends and I am so not satisfied with who I turned out to be this year, so far. I have been pretty much on a p-muls (uhuh, doing it backwards, Detective Peralta *winks) to say the least.

The pictures above, I took them when I was on holiday last Monday.

After it rained so hard in our place (with matching lightning and thunder), I went out and had a walk through my grandma’s beloved plants, and yeah, took some photos of them. I was not actually planning to spend my holiday at home, and it was quite my first time to not go to the office on a holiday (except during the Holy Friday last March) since I started working. Yep, I am as diligent as that. Lol kiddin’. It’s just that sometimes, I find it much better to go to work and get paid than to stay at home doing nothing all day. Anyway, I just miss the feeling of being at home. Alone. And I pretty much had that last Monday since my sibs had some school activities to attend to despite the holiday. So yeah, I quite had the time to reflect about my life, and it lowkey just got me a bit stressed out, ‘cos the things that have been going on in my life are quite the opposite of how I wanted them to be. But that’s fine. That’s just fine.

On another note, I was planning to be out this weekend to just unwind and loosen up, but then because of the not-so-good weather in my place, it got canceled. It got me a bit frustrated ‘cos I wanted it to happen so badly and I have been looking forward to it, but the weather screwed up the plan, and it’s something beyond my control or anyone else’s, so okay, I just had to shrug it off.

And to get rid of the unpleasant feeling that I have in my system today, I settled to deep clean my room, change the sheets, go through all my drawers and get rid of the things that are no longer serving me any good. And I found a lot of unused stationery items, which I actually already forgot that I have. Also, notebooks of different sizes, some with only the first few pages I have used, others I have left unwritten at all. (But nope, I am not throwing them away). I’ve also found lotsa loose papers with my random thoughts written on them, old photos of me and my friends, receipts, receipts, receipts. Sometimes, decluttering really brings me nostalgia because of the good ol’ stuff I get to find again, but yeah, I have freed some space now, and I feel lighter. And who else loves the feeling of lying down on newly-changed sheets? Because I do, I really do. It’s like a whole new life, another chance to start having things figured out. Lol.

Alright, I guess that’s all I could say for now. Not sure if I am even making any sense, but it always feels good to just not care and just type and type as the words come out.


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sincerely,
riz


sincerely, riz