See you again, September

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Whaaaaaat??? September is already ending??? Wow! And since we’re almost about to welcome another month now, here I am with another ~currently~ entry. I’ve been trying to do this monthly but I skipped this last month. I was actually still planning to post a similar entry previously but I have been putting it off for some reason, only to realize that another month is again ending. Gahd. I swear this is the fastest month of this year, so far. Idk if it’s just me.


I honestly haven’t been reading a book lately. The things that I have been reading for the past weeks are just random articles around the web. Also, I was quite binged reading blogs of some good ol’ Tumblr friends who have decided to step up their blogging games and are now on a new blogging platform. I have been in the mood to hop from one blog to another, trying to pick some inspiration up here and there, because, quite honestly, I felt like quitting already – leaving Tumblr for good, but guess, that’s another story to tell. :) Anyway, I’m planning to read The Alchemist soon. It’s been in my to-read list since forever, but I’ve never given it some time yet.


Oh well… still, I haven’t been writing except a few stuff for this blog every now and then Idk. I just couldn’t find enough drive to write, but you know, I’ve always wanted to be called a “writer,” but then, the term doesn’t fit me well. I am just a frustrated one, and most of the time, I can write only for this blog – for the sake of keeping memories through words, that someday I may read through what I’ve written, look back to how things used to be, and realize how much I’ve grown.


Right now, I am not listening to anything in particular. Just some white noise inside my room. Also, I’d like to add that I have been listening to a lot of OPM songs these days, especially in the office, while I am dealing with some financial figures.


There’s a lot that’s going on in my head lately, particularly some random adulting stuff. I have been thinking about how I can manage my finances really well with all these bills at home that I’ve promised to shoulder (which I am already actually doing). And the most recent thoughts that have been occupying my mind are about having a room makeover, and on how I could get rid of all the clutter inside our home. I have been lowkey trying to indulge myself into a minimalism lifestyle since last year, and most of the days, I just want fewer things around especially at home, but my family is quite a hoarder. And so, I have been trying to think of better ways to have a clearer home without really getting rid of the things that my fam don’t wanna get rid of just yet. You know what I mean? Lol. Like rearranging and stuff like that. Anyway, yeah, those are just a few of the things that I’ve been thinking about.


I’m hoping that I could maintain this light feeling that I do have right now for the rest of the week at least. Also, I am hoping for more motivation at work. I feel like I don’t have enough of it anymore. I haven’t been giving my best on whatever I have to handle recently. I am just not satisfied with my performance these days, and I sometimes get pissed off easily, because ugh. People. I just hope they would realize that whenever I have my earphones on, it means “I don’t wanna talk.” Lol.


I pretty much need some sleep. I have been staying up late. I don’t know why. I used to sleep early before (by before, I mean only until I took the board lol), but dang, my body clock has been effed up, especially when I was on this stage where I wasn’t anymore studying but not yet working either, and until now that I am already employed, I find it hard to bring it back to how it used to.


I have not stayed in too much this weekend. I’ve been out and about, which aren’t even planned, but nope, I am not complaining. So now, I am feeling tired and in dire need of sleep, but I still have some things to do, like having my uniform ironed out and tracking my finances, to name just a few. Yep, I have been trying to keep track of everything that goes in and out ever since I started working, so I’d know where and when to stop splurging. Anyway, I am just glad that I am feeling so light right now, actually feeling extra and a bit pumped up, but recently, I’ve had nights when I locked myself inside my room and just cried and cried and cried. I just felt frustrated of myself, also been feeling needy but had no nerves to tell it to anyone, and I just felt like I am not worthy of anyone’s time. Anyway, I’ve already cried all the heavy feelings out. I even had a petty fight with mom. She has been very busy and barely had time for us and I feel sorry that I’ve been feeling needy and acting selfish and immature and was begging for her time. Sorry, mom. I should have understood, but we’re all fine now. I had to knock at her door the next morning to say sorry, and I cried like a baby while she was hugging me. I am feeling all so fine now. =)

Alright, that’s pretty much it! Whoops, again, I wasn’t expecting that this post would turn out this long. Lol. Hi!



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sincerely, riz