Dreams & Visions

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Before 2019 started, I have set it a goal to journal and write down my thoughts more this year, because hey, it’s very therapeutic, plus there’s something I can read and look back to later on.

To get started was probably the hardest part. I really didn’t know where to start and consistently writing down my thoughts is really hard despite having a lot of them. Since I consider myself as still a beginner on this, I figured, maybe I can use prompts to serve as some guide on what to write about, so I took this list of questions from Pinterest, and each day, I pick one question to answer and ponder upon.

I know it’s already quite late to share this just now, but here’s my take on the first seven days:

Your biggest dream.
Before, every time someone asks me of my biggest dreams in life, career-related stuff would always be the ones on top of my head, but this time, not anymore. My biggest dream right now is to be a good wife and a mother, and be able to raise my own family well. Idk, perhaps this is what adult-ing had done to me.
What is your vision for this year?
I am seeing 2019 as a year of growth for me, growth in a way that it would push me to my limits, where I will do things that I have been wanting to do since but never had enough courage to do so just yet. It’s a year of learning a new skill, meeting and making friends with real people, going to places, trying out new things, developing some good new habits and dropping the bad ol’ ones, getting into consistency, intentional living, taking good care of myself and embracing my own skin. It’s a period of less social media and less comparison. This is gonna be a year of peace and of taking some leap.
What makes you proud of yourself?
Hmm… This is actually harder than I think it is, but okay, I am proud of myself for being who I am right now – always willing to help, 24/7 willing to understand, and always ready to lend some ears. I am proud of myself for always listening more than speaking. I am proud of myself for trying to get out of my comfort zone no matter how nervous I am. I am proud of myself for being open for growth and new learnings, for being able to inspire others in my own little ways, for making the ‘rents happy and proud of who I’ve become and yet to become. I am proud of myself for always trying to break bad ol’ habits and trying to build some new good ones even if it means hard work. I am proud of myself for always being eager to get up and start doing after that slump. I am proud of myself for simply just trying. I am proud of myself. (Quick side note: This is my favorite prompt so far. All I had in mind before I started writing were all the traits I hate about myself, but this pushed me to think of things that make me proud of myself and I realized how much the good weighs over the bad).
What’s the vacation of your dreams?
This is how I imagine my dream vacation would be: I am outside a peaceful cottage a little far away from home. I am with my husband, my mom, my siblings, and their significant others, with some kids (of my own and my siblings’) running around, being playful and having some fun. Outside of the cottage is a hammock and some trees that provide some shade around the place, and a couple of steps away is the seashore. As we chill and share some quality time, we can hear the sound of the waves and we can see the turquoise-colored water of the sea not too far from where we are. Nobody else is around except a few kind locals nearby. We share stories and laughter, basically catching up and reminiscing some good ol’ memories with the family with no screen anywhere at sight. =)
What’s your favorite dish?
I am the most indecisive person ever that my mind always goes blank every time I am being asked of what my favorites are, but the one on top of my head right now is some baked scallops (although I’m not sure if that’s even a dish). This is what I would always look for in the menu every time I get to enter a new resto, just a random fun fact you got there. *winks
One behavior you need to let go.
I think I need to stop sabotaging my own success. I need to drop all those lame excuses of “not having enough time” and that “I still deserve some chill time.” I should start doing. I want to achieve this, I want to achieve that, but I don’t work hard enough to get them. Instead of working on achieving them, I always choose to lay down and scroll through my phone endlessly, which most of the time does not really help. I need to drop the “I can’t do it” and the “what if I’ll fail?” attitude. I JUST NEED TO STOP SABOTAGING MY OWN SUCCESS. I know I can still do better.
One thing you’d like to do more.
One thing I’d like to do more is to go out, visit new places, and experience new things. Being an introvert, I always prefer to just stay in where there is no crowd and no new person to deal with, because dang, crowds and new people just suck my energy out of me. But this time, I think, having some me-time at home is completely fine, but it shouldn’t be too much. I have been settling to what is comfortable, but no, I shouldn’t anymore. I have to gather some nerves, go out, and get some thrill in life.
Growth and consistency is probably my focus for this year, and I’m sharing it here, so I could have somebody (but no one in particular) to be accountable for.

Hey, let’s create some more room for improvement and be better =)



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sincerely,
riz

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sincerely, riz