an open letter to papa in heaven

Sunday, June 16, 2019

one night, you slept, then you never woke up, and that was the most heart-breaking part, and after many years, i still could not look at your photo this long without crying.

everything was never the same since the very day that you left. no more daddy jokes, no more pats on my back every time i accomplish something, no more letters from santa claus, no more karaoke nights with you, no more mom & dad cuddling in front of the tv, no more you on that one seat in the dining table, no more smiles from you, no more hugs.

and father’s day was never the same.

but okay, enough. i don’t wanna be sad ‘cos i know you never wanted us to be said either. you’ve always wanted things to be just happy and light. thus, all those daddy jokes, and guess what, my brother has gotten your wit! you must have been so proud!

although you were gone too soon, i hope you know that for your seventeen years of being a father here on earth, surely, you never failed. there is a lot that i’ve learned from you (including how to tickle mom’s fancy when her mood is off but of course, you do it best, no one can beat you on that) but most of all, the greatest that i’ve learned from you is to never complain if it rains, ‘cos i might find it inconvenient on my part on some days, but others have prayed for it, so i might as well just be grateful. and every time that it rains, i remember you, and every time that i remember you, i am reminded that no matter what situation i am in, the rain is a blessing to be enjoyed, not a curse to complain about.

for more than six years since the day that you left, i’ve already reached some milestones in life – my high school and college graduation, my first day at work, and many more to come -- and i always could not help but wish that you’re here. nevertheless, i know you’re happy and proud up there. you’ve always been so proud even in my failing moments, because for you, trying is already enough.

i might have never told you how much i love you, but i swear, i always do more than words can ever tell. the days we’ve spent together was short, but i can never thank you enough for being the best father that we could ever have! for sure, you were never perfect, yet we never needed a perfect father anyway. what we needed was certainly just a father like you!

happy father’s day in heaven, papa! i love you beyond words! always missing you down here 💖



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