some needed unwinding in july

Sunday, August 18, 2019

the start of the month wasn't really great for me. i had to face some great tension at work and my auntie got confined in the hospital. there were kinda lotsa things to take care of, but i think it's all fine now. thankfully.

this is just a quick snap of our little salu-salo during my grandma's birthday. we didn't bother to take some photos and all because we were tired and hungry already after we came home from the hospital, and the fam was just not in a festive mood at that time, but i am so grateful for having to celebrate grandma's 75th birthday. she means the world to me.

went out with my brother to buy him stuff for school and we bumped into our cousin, and i was hungry so we thought of stopping by jollibee.

that's just me tryna utilize some creative juices. i kind of worked on curating my social media feeds, like making a cover for my ig story highlights following a certain color palette of my choice, but after some time, i changed my mind. i don't want to put highlights in my profile 'cos i just want it to be just lowkey -- in a way that when one visits my profile, he/she could not see a lot on it. you get what i mean, no? okay.

one of my best friends and i went to travel all the way to pontevedra to spend a night at maribert resort. she'll already be re-assigned to their head office in manila and i've been longing for such quick weekend getaway. it was really a much needed break for me after all those stressful days in the office the past few weeks.

those are my book purchases so far this year, and the three were bought this month.
  • girl in pieces by kathleen glasgow - now, i am not sure if it was the right decision to buy this one since a mutual from tumblr warned me about some triggers that the book might bring after i shared about purchasing it, but i think, it's not that bad to give it a try. i remember eyeing for this book since last year, because well... it's pink and it's on a pov of a girl (i have such penchant over books written in a girl's pov, is it just me?), and i was really lost and a little down at that time, so i think i could relate if i read this one, so when i saw this again in nbs, i bought it right away.
  • leaders eat last by simon sinek - the capricorn in me wants to be a leader, but the  monkey inside my head is terrified to be. i'm afraid that people might end up saying that i am a terrible leader and that i couldn't be a leader. in real life, there are people who see the leader in me (perhaps because i am a first-born?), but i can't really let it out because i am afraid of handling people. gosh. when you talk about people, i just want to isolate myself from them. i still have my dreams of leading one day despite my introversion and all, so i thought about picking up this book with the hope that perhaps it might help me with this struggle, at least little by little.
  • dear founder by maynard webb - i actually picked this up because when i saw it, i remembered one of my best friends who is currently running their family's business, and is also putting up her own. i am giving this to her if we see each other, so i might get another copy for myself. who knows? i might put up my own company one day =)

i had a spa session with one of my good friends. it was my first time to get some foot spa and it was amazing. i love it! i would absolutely do it again, probably once every quarter. also, i got my hair treatment after six months and i got a haircut for the first time this year. i am loving my medium-length hair, and i'd love to maintain its length this way.

we moved our office in another room so the trainees and encoders could utilize the old one, and i prefer this new one 'cos it's more spacious and i have my own desk, except that i am positioned sideways in front of the head, but i don't mind anyway. it's not worth the energy.

and i bought an indoor plant with mom. i named her dee! and i've placed her on top of my desk letting it drink some water and get some sunlight every weekends. i am a first time mom of a plant and i am not even sure if i am doing this right, but i'm trying.

  • these days, it's been rare to spend a sunday with mom at home, but i am really happy that i was able to, then we talked mostly about bills and settling stuff with her side hustle which she invited me to be a partner of. and of course, she cooked for us! i swear my mom is the best cook! i'm sad how i haven't gotten her skills "yet". nothing can really beat the comfort of being able to talk some stuff out with your mom.
  • and again, i did a quick social media fast. now i'm back and have been trying to be mindful of my use of it. this is really hard. i'm having such a hard time still with my relationship with social media. i kind of not know yet where to place myself. part of me wants to cut everything off and live in peace, but a part wants to stay because well... we are in this age where social media already plays a big role in our lives, and maybe i just have to live with it, minimize the consumption and not cut it all down. i don't know. i still could not make up my mind about it. i'm torn.
  • i cleaned up my youtube subscriptions, like really cleaned it up and had it down to zero. i just felt like i have been consuming a lot of its contents randomly, and that was already a little unhealthy so i thought about cleaning up and just watched those channels that i want to watch intentionally. also, i have been trying to not watch from all those recommended videos except if i am really into it.
  • i discovered liah yoo's youtube channel and i love it. i heard about her a few months ago from lavendaire lifestyle podcast. she was a guest, but i never really took the time to look for her channel. this time, there was a recommended video of hers and it got me interested so i watched it. now, i think, she's one of my favorites. mostly, i've only watched her #gilrlboss videos, or at least that's how i consider them. i am not so much into skin care "yet," so i haven't really gone through her skin care videos although i think, they are pretty much helpful and very informative. maybe i'll give it a try one of these days, then perhaps i could share my thoughts about them. i just love how calm and demure of a girl boss she is, someone i kind of aspire to be.
  • i wrote this note below after visiting my blog and reading through my past entries, it's a little irrelevant now after i shared a story in ig and messenger regarding the new look of my blog. i didn't drop my url but i've shared it to some of my friends before. i am not sure if they remember it but there could be some possibility that they'd drop by, but y'know, i figured they are too busy of their own lives to even care with mine. so yeah, that's just my thoughts in july.
i am not anymore advertising my blog to anyone, and as much as i want to put it out there, i figured it makes me a little uncomfortable. i want to write here like as if no one is reading, and right now, i don't have any idea who is still visiting my blog or if there's still any. i haven't been receiving any engagement from anyone in this blog since, so i wouldn't really know, which is a good thing. at least, i can share things without restriction, but then of course, i don't share everything. that would undress me totally.
  • and i finally freed myself by admitting what i actually feel. for so long, i have been invalidating my feelings because i feel like they are unreasonable, irrational, and that it's stupid and crazy and all that kind of stuff, but i realized that no matter how unreasonable, irrational and stupid and crazy they may seem, i still still felt them, and that's okay. that's valid. i am human. i need to remind myself not to think too much about what other people might say about how i am feeling. i felt them. it's my feelings, my emotion, not theirs. i am in the situation. they aren't. and admitting what i actually feel doesn't make me less of a person. it won't make me appear weak. i just have to remind myself these. and oh, here's a related tweet that i posted:

current read: 

i am currently reading the subtle art of not giving a f*ck by mark manson. i mentioned about buying its paperback copy in my june wrap up and i started reading it in july. i have already started reading before, but i am not a consistent book reader as you may know. i can pick up a book and then drop it after some time, and never get back to it again. that's how i am, but lately, i have been trying to build the habit of reading a few pages everyday. it's not easy for me, but i am trying. really trying. and as of writing, i am now down to my last three chapters of this book. it's good. really good, but it wasn't easy for me to absorb then reflect over them. i would need to read it again very slowly, with my whole heart and mind into it so i can really swallow what is being said by the author. it's not that i have not put my heart and mind while reading it. it's just that, i still haven't put that much time to relate them to myself or to anything close to me, but i would definitely read it again really slowly so i can take down notes, pause, and reflect. i might share my takeaways from the book after i finish reading them. i now have two in mind! and i would definitely read it again, and 10/10 i would recommend it if you haven't read it already.

and i guess, that's a wrap!



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