the start of 2020

Sunday, January 12, 2020


it’s  been rough, i must admit. i have been in a roller coaster ride of emotions since this year started, the reason why i disappeared from the blogging world for awhile after my last entry, and was not able to publish some posts as much as i wanted.

i was pretty excited for 2020 and was so pumped up to welcome another year and another decade, but that all changed when some huge unexpected things  happened on the last days of 2019 after we lost a dear uncle on the third. i thought i was ending the year right by then despite our family’s loss, but i seemed wrong...

days after the funeral, i got myself too busy with the holidays -- buying gifts here and there and preparing for a small family event that we usually do for christmas until… the event didn’t happen. we had to postpone it when typhoon ursula hit our town and left it highly devastated (not to mention that it happened on the very day of christmas day). it was past midnight when the damaging winds started blowing. they were blowing too strong that we had to wake up in the middle of our sleep to keep ourselves conscious for whatever that may happen.

at around  three in the morning, the whole family gathered in the living room including my late uncle’s family because a part of their roof has already come off that they had to evacuate the soonest possible. we gathered and prayed together. after praying, the roof on our kitchen area started coming off too! that time, i already kinda got nervous because we had nowhere to go, just in case, and it was never safe outside, but then, i trust that we are protected NO MATTER WHAT.

the strong winds lasted for hours. nevertheless, i’m grateful that no one got hurt. currently, the whole town is in the process of rebuilding, and personally, i am also in the process of rebuilding myself for this new year and the new decade. hoping to leave some bad habits behind to give room for some new one.

we actually ended up doing our annual christmas tradition on new year’s eve, and it was fun! also, we had our annual party for the whole community in our place on the first day of the year. then, I celebrated my 24th birthday on the eighth.

i guess, this already sums up all the  days that i wasn’t here.

how am i, at the moment, you may ask? i’m good, not as good as I want to be, but I’m doing good. the first eleven days of 2020 were such a challenge. i was struggling in trying to create the person that i wanna be. it is never easy. i’ve been falling off, but right now, as of publishing this entry, i am trying to get back up and start again. i just have to remind myself that this will never be easy, and nobody has it easy. i may fall off many times, and that’s okay. the important thing is to never give up no matter what. we should always push ourselves to get up and start again.

how is the start of the year for you?

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sincerely,
riz

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sincerely, riz