just dropping by

Monday, November 16, 2020

 


well... hello there. seems that spilling my heart out right here has been a little too difficult for me to do these days. or maybe putting my emotions down into words now has become the hardest part.


anyway, life has been one heck of a terrible ride lately. i got sick. i lost a bunch of weight. i got cheated. my insecurities are at its peak. i’m struggling with managing my time and my life in general. i’ve been making horrible life decisions. and the list goes on.


awful.


that’s how it is for me, but i’ve still been trying to cope up. i’ve been toughing up to survive. i am trying my best to protect my peace. after everything that happened in my life the past months, it became so easy for me to forget my worth these days, but i’ve been working really hard to remind myself that i am worthy. i am worthy of love. i am worthy of effort. i am worthy of appreciation. i am worthy of anything and everything.



sometimes, when i am already a little too desperate, i just can’t help but want my old life back where i used to be peaceful and happy. but oh no, it shouldn’t be. it shouldn’t be like that. i should be good with the life that i currently have. i should be grateful for the new people i’ve met and still yet to meet along the way. i should be thankful for the new experiences, including those quite awful ones. i wouldn’t grow if i stayed in that “old life” of mine. so i should embrace this uncomfortable phase. i should learn to live with those crying-myself-to-sleep moments at night. i should live with these confusions. i should live with some of the unpleasant parts of life. i should live with them, but not always, not forever. i must learn and i shall get through them. then i can enjoy the sunny days. after all, nothing stays the same forever. we’re learning. we’re growing.


and also... i shouldn’t be too hard on myself. i am human and it’s okay to feel.


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sincerely,
riz

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sincerely, riz